Microsoft 365 "Copilot Essential" tier hits $40/user/month
It was inevitable. After the "temporary" energy surcharge introduced in 2033, Microsoft has officially updated its pricing structure for the fiscal year 2036. The standard Microsoft 365 commercial plan (now rebranded as M365 Copilot Essential) will increase from $32.50 to $40.00 per user/month starting January 1st.
In a press release delivered via holographic projection to tech journalists this morning, Microsoft's Head of Monetization, Jared Spataro-GPT, cited "unprecedented compute demands" required to power the mandatory Clippy 3.0 integration.
"We are committed to empowering every person and organization on the planet to achieve more, provided they have the subscription credits. The new pricing reflects the value of having an AI that not only writes your emails but emotionally validates your corporate burnout."
What you get for the new price
Microsoft argues the price hike includes several "highly requested" features:
- Excel VR: Visualize pivot tables in the metaverse (requires HoloLens 5).
- Teams Mood Monitoring: AI analyzes facial micro-expressions during meetings and reports "Enthusiasm Metrics" directly to HR.
- Outlook Zero: A promise that the spam filter will catch 85% of phishing attempts (up from 82%).
- Word Blocks: The ability to edit documents offline (limit: 3 docs/day).
The New Pricing Structure
| Tier | Price | Features |
|---|---|---|
| M365 Ad-Supported | $15/mo | Video ads play between Excel slides. Watermark on all printed pages. |
| M365 Copilot Essential | $40/mo | Standard access. Clippy 3.0 enabled (cannot be disabled). |
| M365 Sovereignty | $120/mo | You own your data (legal binding arbitration required). |
Analysts suggest that despite the outrage, enterprise customers have nowhere to go. "What are they going to do? Teach 50,000 employees how to use LibreOffice?" laughed an anonymous Gartner analyst. "The ribbon interface on LibreOffice v24.8 is still too confusing for the average Gen Alpha worker."
The stock (MSFT) is up 4% on the news, pushing the company's market cap past the GDP of the European Union.